hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
