Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
then he tried to convert me to islam
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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