Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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