She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
