You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
