I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
