My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
