oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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