I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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