They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
