was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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