He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
