i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
