.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
