Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
