For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
