I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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