My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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