saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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