I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
