Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
there is glitter all over my balls
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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