So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
