Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
