respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
