I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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