I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
