He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
