i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
