There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
