Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
