Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
