he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have already put on my inside pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
