Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
