yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
