So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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