i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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