He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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