This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
