so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
