I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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