Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize
