$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
handjob tips. give me some.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
