Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
