It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
