Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
