just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
