My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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