I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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