so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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