I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
