I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
