He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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