hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
