So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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