Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
